Sleepover
by TeacupSquid
Summary: It's gotten to the point where Kuwabara just doesn't know how to handle his feelings, whatever they are. Kuwa/Yuu


Kuwabara couldn't sleep, not with Yuusuke so close to him. He had long since vacated the stretch of futon that he and his best friend were sharing at Yuusuke's suggestion, two separate mattresses laid side-by-side. The smaller man, in spite of his size, was sprawled across both, arms and legs spread like those of a starfish. Having Yuusuke, the mere thought of whom made Kuwabara's stomach clench uncomfortably, invade his space sent the redhead into a fit of nerves. He was now pacing around the room, sparing tentative glances back at his softly snoring friend.

He could figure this out. Kuwabara knew it was just a matter of going about things the right way. It could be like the science experiments he had to do in lab class-form a hypothesis, test that hypothesis, and draw a conclusion from the results. He could do that! The scientific method was tried-and-true!

Except, the only hypothesis he could come up with was: if I kiss Yuusuke, I'll know whether I _like_ him or not.

Kuwabara looked back at his friend, took a step forward, and then retreated to the kitchen. He ripped open the refrigerator, grabbed a can of beer, and downed it in three gulps, then put it down quietly and braced himself against the counter, suddenly shaking horribly. He could do this. It was just a simple kiss. People exchanged kisses all the time.

Trying his hardest to cling to this justification, Kuwabara finally moved back to where Yuusuke still lay peacefully. He had stopped snoring and had pulled his limbs in somewhat; his legs were now straighter and one of his hands lay on his rising and falling stomach, the blanket pulled almost neatly over him.

Squaring his shoulders, Kuwabara nodded to himself and sat back down on his side of the futon carefully.

He nearly fainted. Crawling so close to Yuusuke was throwing his body into red alert. It was only through sheer willpower that he managed to move his face above the sleeping man's, holding himself up on shaking arms.

If he could kiss Yuusuke, he would know. Every thread of his being believed this. He would either feel nothing, or feel only lust, or feel something… more powerful. Something like what he used to feel for Yukina. And what if he _did_ feel something beyond friendship for his best friend-his best _male_ friend-who would probably kick his ass for even thinking about kissing him in the first place?

Kuwabara didn't know what he would do. But at least he would know how he _felt_. That is what mattered most. He couldn't even being to come to terms with his feelings if he didn't know what they were or what they meant. He couldn't repress something he couldn't identify.

And he was sure he would have to repress this monster of emotion welling up inside of him, no matter what it was.

So he allowed himself, for what he insisted would be the final time, to look down at Yuusuke's face without reigning in the feelings that wriggled in his stomach and made his heart hurt. The man still had a baby face-probably always would-that was only not completely girly because of the two thick brows angled above thickly-lashed eyes. Yuusuke's small snub of a nose, round mouth, sharp hairline, pointed ears, and then his jaw line, throat and neck, collar bone, shoulders, strong chest and arms, his shape beneath the blanket… Kuwabara memorized it all. And then he steeled himself, still shaking, and lowered his face-

And then he stopped.

The realization of what he was doing slapped him hard in the face.

Was he really about to steal a kiss from his best friend, in the middle of the night, while the other was completely unconscious and incapable of reacting to this most intimate betrayal of trust? What the hell was the matter with him?

Kuwabara sat up and moved away. Oh god, and what if Yuusuke asked him in ten years, 'who was your first kiss'? It was you, Urameshi, but if you don't remember it's because you weren't awake at the time.

How horrible would that be?

Kuwabara knew that Yuusuke trusted him completely. To even consider betraying that trust…

He covered his face in his hands, groaning a little in despair. The guilt was tangible.

Hardly standing himself and how terrible a friend he was, the redhead threw himself under the covers, facing the wall, turned away from the other man. There was a twist to his insides that made him feel like hiding under a rock forever, but he swallowed it down.

And beside him, completely ignorant of that inner turmoil, Yuusuke rasped out, "hey."

Kuwabara nearly jumped out of his skin, but he stayed facing away. "W-what?" he choked out. Had Yuusuke been awake the entire time?

"Go use some mouthwash or something," he muttered sleepily. "Y'know I can't sleep when I smell booze."

He scrambled out from under the covers to do as bidden. How could he forget something like that? To drink beer and, and then he had pushed his face right into Yuusuke's, who would have definitely woken up, then, if Kuwabara had-!

He brushed his teeth and gargled until his mouth burned, even daring to swallow some of the painfully minty mouthwash. He was definitely the dumbest man alive.

By the time he carefully crawled back into bed, he was certain Yuusuke had fallen back asleep, but was again surprised when a pair of big brown eyes blinked at him sleepily. A grateful smile, and the smaller man was wiggling closer to Kuwabara and resting his head against a muscular shoulder.

"Thanks," he mumbled, curling up against Kuwabara's side as the redhead's entire body flushed a deep pink in the dark.

Just how the hell was Kuwabara supposed to sleep now?

"Oh," Yuusuke said, starting a little against the larger man as if he was jolted out of dreamland. He half-crawled onto Kuwabara's chest, using his elbows to pull himself along, and planted a poorly-aimed kiss on his best friend's mouth, collapsing almost immediately afterward with exhaustion. "Next time," he muttered, "just say something."

And when the soft snoring started back up almost immediately, Kuwabara was struck with the most bittersweet elation. Bitter because he knew Yuusuke would probably blame what he'd done on delirium, or deny it, or not even remember… but those things almost didn't matter, because, no matter what greeted him in the morning, right now, Yuusuke Urameshi was curled up against him, face tucked against his neck so that every breath whispered across Kuwabara's skin, and had just _kissed_ him completely unbidden, and, well, at that very moment it felt as if all those things would be enough to last him for the rest of his life.

* * *

><p><em>These two are my favorite ship on all the waters. I try so hard to write longer stuff but I lose focus so easily it is mind blowing.<em>

_Constructive criticism more than welcome! And anything else you wanna throw at me too._

_Mikastarlight, who writes the most amazing Kuwa/Yuu stories ever, gets all of my desu for making me post this. THANK YOU FOR CARING ;A; My heart is going to burst skjdkhgjksgh_


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